Applause

This post is being carried by a hit, Lady Gaga's comeback and leading single for ARTPOP, Applause. Be worthy.

The last time I posted here was roughly three months ago, just about the time before classes start, before my first term as a green blooded Lasallian begins. That's pretty big. A huge gesture after leaving the Pontifical and Royal, which I barely miss now. Now there's an improvement from the times when I would regret leaving the university and my friends. Don't get me wrong, I still miss everything from the plates, 12nn-6pm prayers and shitty blockmates, down to the flood. But, I learned to accept the fact that, I guess, it wasn't meant for me. I wasn't meant to graduate as a Thomasian. Nonetheless, I will always be proud to say that I was once one and that I have yellow blood within this bloodstream of green.

What has happened over the past few months. Let's see. I've made friends. Lots of them. I especially love this block, LC26, for being like a block to me. They should me no different treatment. In fact, I felt like family. The two classes that we would have together was really fun. Surprisingly, I was even a comedian in the class. I would crack jokes every now and then that the class would find hilarious. I never got that kind of attention before. I guess college has made me funny. Or maybe they just laugh easily. But in a sea of 40+ students, I beg to differ. More thanks to the Banahaw trip that we had. It really strengthened my relationship with them that I got to know some of them bit by bit. It was tiring—yes—climbing up a mountain for five hours and travelling for four. It was one hell of a journey but worth remembering and taking a picture of. I'll definitely look back at this and smile and say, hey I survived climbing Mt. Banahaw.

De La Salle University isn't my home. A lot of students from other schools also decided to transfer and test their luck here. My fellow transferees are really awesome. They're like me. We are no different, also. I've been spending a lot of time with them and I really got to form new friendships. I can feel the acceptance and love from them. With them, I can feel completely me, completely free. Coming from different universities and colleges but connected by the university where the future begins.

My course subjects have been, uhm... a breeze? I guess not. It's been challenging, to be honest. Especially with citigov, since we lost our original professor who was way more awesome than the one we have now, and with intfilo where I barely understand anything that he says and the test questions have been my definition of difficult and the synonym of hell. I am not stable with my grade, though I haven't seen them. I'm terrified of failing. I am not ready for a failing mark. I will never be. I am scared that my time and money would be wasted again. High hopes from my mom and tremendous pressure to me. The others course subjects are okay. I guess I'll survive them. I better use as an inspiration the grades that I got off the net. Straight 4.0s, some 3.5s and 3.0s, one 2.5. Now that's something to be inspired of and to think about.

The MMDA with the help of Mayor Joseph Estrada's plan of a bus ban has been horrible. I know I am not affected that much but it is seriously horrible. Traffic has been longer than before that it takes me more time to get to school and to travel from Vito Cruz to Buendia. I wish they thought this through before they implemented it because it is a matter that requires intensive understanding. The expenses have also been unacceptable. I once tried travelling differently. I paid twenty pesos to get from Talaba to Coastal Mall. I had to wait under the scorching heat of the sun to get a ride from MIA road to Buendia. And lastly, I had to cross the road and get a jeepney ride from Buendia to Vito Cruz. This is stupid.

I've met a couple of people again. I am hating myself more and more for continually doing it and not even doing anything about it. I want to stop, I really do. It's just that I find it more and more difficult to do so. There's this urge within me that my hand and camera can't deal with on their own. My teenage wants always get the best of me that I end up doing a horrible act which I know one day I will pay for. A few more days and I have reached xviii. Perhaps with that event in my life I can really change and make up my mind.

Rejection has been awful. Being denied and rejected from about eight people is really disappointing and painful. Inviting them to watch a movie or meeting up but they just decline your offer, giving an excuse why then can't and forcing me to look for another is just something I can't deal with anymore. I watch Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters by myself. This is the third movie I watched on my own, following The Hunger Games and The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Here I go again ranting about how much I am in need and how much I long for a boyfriend. Just someone to love and understand me. Someone who would hug and kiss me whenever I feel down. Someone who would be my bestfriend and who would find time to hang out with me. Someone who isn't only happy to be with me but is also proud to have me. Is that too much to ask? I guess I'm not supposed to be happy just yet.

What else? I've talked about seven things here. I guess that's enough to be called worthy of Applause. ARTPOP comes out on November 11 and I can't wait. Mother Monster is back. I missed her. The wait was totally worth it. I can still remember when she released the lead track. I was watching The Conjuring when she tweeted something that made the whole fanbase's heart beat so fast that some might have had a heart attack. I would have. Moments later, she reveal a promotional photo then announced that the song would be released on that day, seven days prior to its original release. We all waited. When played on the radio, everyone went wild. Tweets, posts, hashtags ruled the online society. I love this fanbase. I love Lady Gaga.