Best Thing I Never Had

i. I think I've finally gone numb from all the pain. I think I've finally realized my stupidity. But I don't think I'll be over you anytime soon.

ii. I can't gather my thoughts right now. Everything is a blur. Just like what we are. Right from the very start, we were a blur. I thought I could focus that blur so that I'd see the picture more clearly but sadly, it didn't work out.

iii. What pains me more is knowing that after all I did, I still couldn't capture your heart. I did things that I, myself, was surprised. I saw myself doing things for someone that I thought would like me back. Things that I've only done for someone that I really like. I don't want to say that I regret anything that I did but I somehow do. I could have given it to another person but I wanted it so it's my fault. 

iv. I'm so stupid to think that you would actually fall for a guy like me. How stupid can I get? I am such a hopeless romantic. I hate myself for being so. I'll never find love. I'll never find happiness. Then comes the issue of self-esteem. I hate it.

v. I'm thankful, to say, that you gave me another chance. Thank you for making me happy and for making me smile. 

vi. I love you and this is finally it. We're going our separate ways as if we even walked the same path. 

vii. I wish you never even came back and showed your ass back. I've forgotten about you before and now my feelings are back. I remember our first meeting, our second, third and fourth. I remember the tweets, messages, and calls. I remember everything and I just want to forget it all. No, I want to forget what I am feeling. I want this to continue but it can't. Everything has to end and just really never wanted this to end. 

viii. It's going to be hard ending this but I have to. 

ix. It sucks how you can't teach your heart to love someone but you have to force your heart to forget someone. It's unfair. 

x. Honestly, you turned out to be the best thing I never had.